Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Expulsion of Compulsions

It is exam season here at college and today I sat my first one. I am very thankful that it is over and that I was able to say something, lets hope it was worthwhile. I trust there will be something useful in it. I must admit I struggle to remember quotes well, my mind just doesn't seem to be designed to remember long sentences. Number, places, faces, silly ideas but long sentences or verses.... doh there seems to be a lack of oil in that part of the engine. I pray that more oil will flow in that part of my engine.

One of the books I read for today's exam is called The Way of the Heart by Henri Nouwen. He was a Dutch catholic priest who led a fairly colourful, varied life and had deep interest in psychology and God. I must say he's one of the more enjoyable writers I've read this year. He said something very profound in this book, "compulsive is the best adjective to describe false self". This really struck me. Can any of you identify to being compulsive in anyway?

I know I can and have been in many ways. I compulsively want to eat chocolates when I see them on my parents' coffee table, I compulsively want to daydream when I should be working and I have compulsively looked at pretty girls when I should be doing something a bit more productive. That's not to say there is anything wrong with any of these things in their own right but when they become objects of compulsive behaviour then we are driving into this cul-de-sac of false self that Nouwen identifies.

So if compulsive behaviour leads to false self, what leads to true self? That is perhaps a more difficult question.... I will ponder that some more..

Until next time..

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